Category Archives: Uncategorized
It’s almost comical, how we often don’t realize, until our very own lives are personally interrupted; How quickly time is passing by…
The CNN network stated earlier, that the Family of Michael Brown has released the autopsy report by Pathologist Michael Baden and the report shows that he was shot 6 times, twice in the head (once directly to the top of his skull) and 4 times in the right arm. ALL SHOTS CAME FROM THE FRONT!!!
THIS is terrible news, yet is indicative of what we already suspected/knew. HOWEVER, we must not lose sight of the real issue here! A YOUNG MAN was shot and it doesn’t seem that his actions justifies the result that ended in his death.
It is understandable that our community is angry. Our dissatisfaction though, should not be impotent, and should most certainly reach much farther than marching, shouting, protesting, etc. NOW is the time to truly act!!! Take inventory of who “WE” as a people are, and then use what we have to invest in ourselves. We do this by staying focused on the facts at hand, and then coming up with viable, credible ways, to change what is.
Please, don’t let those negative few who claim that they are fighting the good fight with us, but are ultimately planning ways to defy us all, by looting, planning to overtake and over run authority, to hurt, and assemble groups that will, in the end, set us back even further than we already are, define what it means to be BLACK IN AMERICA!
Those folks don’t represent me and I hope that they don’t represent you!
She’d spent the better part of almost 2 years mourning. Like the old dog in China who hadn’t left his deceased Masters grave in over a period of about 6 years, she mourned. It was quite pitiful, but even more so, because she couldn’t even claim the protective instinct of a simple, faithful, old dog. She was a human being Dammit, and if she didn’t do something about the things in which she was (or was not) currently doing, she would soon forget it, and so would everyone else.
There were still a few folks that hadn’t YET, completely forgotten about her, in fact, from time to time, she preferably thought of these individuals as friends. However, there were some that could now, simply be marked off as former acquaintances as during her mourning, they had fallen off by the wayside, and could no longer be called upon. This, though, was not the time to let one’s mind linger upon them.
THIS, was a time of decision, and the decision to make would be simple. Was she going to continue to live her life mourning over what was, OR was she going to now live and rejoice in what would be sure to come???
“While it is possible to live vainly in the memories of the past, one must also realize that the currents of life do constantly move forward with or without the consent of those who choose to acknowledge and live in it…
Though understandably basking in the familiarity of what is already known and experienced can be soothing, it should also be understood that what is missed by not experiencing the things that could have (and very well should have) been experienced can be damaging. In life, there are some things that we are very well meant to be exposed to, but having that thing called ‘free will’ at times hinders us, and that, my friend, (although a great option to have) is not always a good thing.
Free will however, does also enable us to make the choice to continue to lie in yesterday and soak up the misery or memories, or make the choice to finally “Wake Up And Get Down!” “
Thanks for Reading!
Yours Truly, ~Me
A few days ago I was speaking with one of my intellectual, educated, well established friends about my current station in life. We talked, at length, about where I hoped to go, the things I thought that by now, I would’ve achieved, & the challenges and difficulties it seems I’ve been forced to endure…. Patiently, my friend, took the time to Encourage, Interject practical advise, and above all else, LISTENED!
Since that day, I’ve gained the ability to lose the ‘tunnel vision’ of darkness that has plagued me for far too much time now, and see things from completely new perspectives.
Isn’t it amazing how a few expressed & spoken words can bring forth such a difference in one’s entire outlook? One never truly realizes, how deeply their words or actions can affect another. I guess it’s why the 10 commandments can be summed up, ultimately, into 2 parts… the first being… “Honor God” & The second being “Treat Other’s in the ways in which you’d like to be treated.” In doing these two things, I can bear honest witness and say that “Miracles do happen, each and every day!” It is within us as individuals, to open our minds and our hearts, in order to bear witness.
My mother Always says that “GOD provides proof to the truth!”
And in that regard with the things I’ve been both told and shown I am inclined to agree!Today, for example, I came across a quote by ‘George Eliot’ that literally grabbed my attention as though it was written specifically for me. The words read this —–> “IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN!” Upon reading this, I knew that in order to obtain the things that I ultimately want, I must start RIGHT NOW with being who it is I choose to be! It is since I experienced this revelation, that the feelings of inadequacy, the tunnel of darkness & the feeling of being completely out- of- control, has given way… I am ready to do what I must!
Yesterday, and the decisions made then, are now a thing of the past, the only thing one can do is move on from those moments and live in today (lol, as if we really have a choice to do it any other way, anyway).
Sometimes we view life as though it is a courtroom, wanting evidence and proof, to co-sign our decisions to do the things we choose. Other times we just move ahead making rash judgement’s, not necessarily caring about how we affect others, or how later, we affect ourselves,
Now, it is not my place to critique or how ‘you’ live, as for me, however, I think I’ll try a new approach, rather than to keep on doing what I’ve already done and failed to achieve I’m going to try out the alternate and see where that leads.
In conclusion, I’ll leave with this… “What is done today, defines who one currently is! Tomorrow may come, but, for some, it may not. Therefore, I believe it wise to choose, in this very moment to be who you want, and it’s almost miraculously occurs that who you want to be, becomes exactly who you are! ~ Thank you George Eliot, for bringing that all to light.
Thank you for reading!
Isn’t it funny how we as individuals,can come up with prejudices about whole groups of people or things in which we ‘unknowingly’ don’t understand?
As it was just yesterday, that I was sitting here, on the PC as I am doing now, laughing my ass off with tears rolling down my eyes at the post that was being written about my very good friend (we’ll call him “Aluta”), who I’ll mention, is from Ghana, West Africa, one of the main ports in which African slaves were kidnapped from and brought here to the America’s. The people that live there now could very likely be distant relatives to the African Americans that I am descended from, associate with, and live among.
You see, “Aluta” and I belong to a “Special Interest Group” and they actually thought that he might be a homosexual!!! Not saying anything against the LGBT Community but plainly and specifically speaking against the presupposition’s that people make.
Here’s the thing, “Aluta’s” “American English” and understanding of it is a bit different. In the area which he was raised, he was taught to speak “British English” (also commonly known as “The Queens English”). As one should know, there are certain words, terminologies, analogies, and metaphors, that mean completely different things when spoken by a North American to a British Citizen, and vice-verse.
When I told him about the things that were being said about him (albeit, funny as hell simply because his words were misconstrued and misunderstood), he was appalled! As in Ghana, there is (for real) no such thing as being professedly, “GAY” and living a long life to tell about it. As in truth, your family, might be one of the first to String you from a tree!
GHANA is obviously NOT AMERICA & is profoundly different with the acceptance of the things in which the United States ‘outwardly’ pride themselves on not condemning.
It is an embarrassment for an entire family to have even one member be perceived as being “gay”. It speaks volumes that resonate throughout the entire Ghanaian Community. Also, It is not thought of as being “funny”, “freaky” or being on the “DL (Down Low)” to see two Men or Women stand in very close proximity to one another, nor is the draping of someone with their arm around the neck of someone else as a conversation is being had. People shower AND Breastfeed their babies, without feeling inhibited, and in some areas it is even acceptable to walk around without clothing to cover parts in which the American culture dare not publicly expose.
I know, that other misconceptions have been made about other people concerning things from sexuality, religion, political affiliation, race, gender, and a wide array of other things, amongst people in which the majority of us share our recent culture and history, simply based on a misunderstanding.
It is the reason that I feel the need to write this post. Prejudice’s to me, are very real and prevalent but are more often than not~ petty, simple minded and just plain wrong. We, each and every one of us, are ALL INDIVIDUALS. and do things that are unlike anyone else. Does that make either you or I inferior to another? I think, No, I KNOW, that it does not!
Stupid prejudice’s cause a wide array of unnecessary dysfunction, whereas if we took just an extra moment or two to ask questions, and attempt to understand another’s frame of mind, then we possibly answer the Late Rodney Kings question: “Can’t We All Just Get Along?”, with an Affirmative. “YES”!
I implore you all to please open one eyes, mind, heart and ears before opening our mouths (or in some cases typing with our fingers out into cyberspace) words, that can NEVER be taken back.
As it is, “When we make attempts to ill- perceive that we often make an ASS out of U and ME. (ASSUME)
Trennell/ A.K.A Trenni
It’s crazy how self-absorbed we all can sometimes be, However, I do understand it…. I mean, if you’re not thinking about yourself then (really) who else is???
Life, at times, can seem so damned hard! Concentrating on what “We”, “Ourselves” can do to change the current outcome of our own situations comes naturally. So naturally, that we often fail to realize how the smallest action on “our” part can have the largest impact on someone else’s part.
There is a television show that I like to watch called “Touch”. It is based on a boy (who seems to be autistic) and his widowed father.
This child and his father have connected on some uncanny level through the use of numbers. It seems that his (the boys’) understanding of numbers allows him to see the past, the present, and the future…. The number sequences that he comes up with breaks the whole order of the “Fibonacci sequence” (It’s on Google, look it up!) and can actually interpret the mind of our Almighty GOD!!!
Now, I won’t go as far as to say that I believe, that interpreting Gods’ intentions is actually possible but I do think about how my actions may directly affect someone else…
As many of you may know, my husband and I recently terminated our relationship and I have found it to be quite a difficult situation to work through.
I often think about how if he wouldn’t have done “this thing” or “that thing” then my life, and my childrens’ lives wouldn’t be affected in “this way” or “that”.
I am a believer that out of every situation encountered we are allotted a lesson. The thing in which we learn may be used in the future in regard to ourselves OR someone else, but nevertheless, the lesson learned is one that becomes invaluable.
I speak to people crossing my path each day because it might be that I am the only person that has spoken to them. When I can, I give the man (or woman) begging, on the corner, what I have at my disposal, just because I think that The Omnipotent, the LORD, our GOD, might be testing me!
I smile even when I feel like crying (and that happens way more often than you might ever believe), just because my smile might brighten the day of someone who’s world, thus far, has been dark and dreary, and I believe that God, himself, grants me certain allowances and blessings because of these things that I do.
My children are healthy, and my issues (for the most part) are under control. I see my way through tunnels that previously were completely darkened to both the left, the right, in front of, and behind me… I have hope where I once felt a void, and riches in places I once perceived as being destitute.
I sometimes wonder though, where would I be now if Michael (that’s my husband, @ least legally) had not done the things to me in which he did?
I think that possibly, things could be better…. but I also know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that things could also have been inconceivably worse.
I try to teach my children the basic rule of Karma, that “What goes around, comes around”, and I hope that with this lesson the two of them actually see the truth and wisdom that lies within those 5 words.
“IF I TOUCH YOU…” then it’s not difficult to conceive that someway, I am inevitably, also, touching myself.
If everyone thought about Karma on these terms then (even if it is done for purely selfish reasons) I imagine that your life, mine, and everyone in which we encounter would have a life that is significantly changed for the better.
It is my hope that this small piece of ‘Food For Thought’ both encourages and inspires. If I have TOUCHED YOU, then please, by all means… ‘Pay it Forward’ & TOUCH someone else.
As always, I appreciate any thought or commentary in which you may have concerning this or any article in which I have written. I invite the correspondence as it provokes me to keep writing because you, my audience, are reading, and with that fact, I know, that we are well on the way!
Ms. Trennell/ a.k.a Trenni
I look around at complete perfection and wonder How can one ask if ‘YOU’ truly exist. I breathe the air that fills my lungs and know that its not a mistake but an amazing gift. I see the details of what you’ve created and think of the wonders you’ve performed for me, and laugh at how Stephen Hawking could ever come up with the simplistic idea of “THE BIG BANG THEORY”. Don’t they understand that you’re far more complex, your existence can’t be explained, but for whomsoever believes in you, their souls will forever be sustained?
I thank you for all that you’ve done for me and all that you continue to do, I believe that mountains can be bent- if that’s what you will them too…. I’ve had my trials, I’ve had my glories, I’ve had my moments of doubt, but I know that its you that delivers me, and its you, I’ve not been without. I come to you on bended knee and ask that you’ll forgive… the sins I’ve committed, the mistakes that I’ve made, and the ways that I’ve sometimes lived.
I thank you for your strong presence & the love that I often lean on, especially when I’ve felt abandoned by man, and enraged at feeling alone. I hold to the promise that you’re near and you’ll never leave my side. I love, I follow, I believe in you, I’m your sheep and you’re my guide. The beauty I see when I view a sunset and again with the sun rise, I understand, how blessed I am, that you’ve breathed into me life.
I sing your glory, I spread your word, and think to do as a good Christian should, I know that I often fall short of your grace, but you know my heart, and I’m understood. I try to uphold no excuses as I know that I have been wrong, in fighting battles that should be left to you, but Lord, sometimes you take so long. The sense in me knows that its your will & your way, you’re never late but always on time, please help me to control my whims and this emotional heart of mine.
The detail of a simple flower, keeps me fully impressed, when it comes to creating great things, My God, you are the absolute best- may this truth forever ring. I am but a small cell made in your image of what you say is good, and since all things are as you say, my awe of you is understood. I wonder what makes me a worthy something in which you would spend your time, but then I cringe at my audacity to question someone so utterly divine?
So I’ll take this gift that you’ve given me and live with uncontested faith, that you are in fact, the King of Kings, no one else can fill that space. Oh Lord, please guide me, order my steps, from this moment til I lay stiff in the ground, to praise and uphold none other than you, as you Amaze, Astonish, and Astound.
Thank you for reading,
Trennell Marie/ A.K.A Trenni
It’s so funny, the things that we can advise others on, but when its us, ourselves, facing a problematic situation, the path of resolution evades.. It’s also interesting how easy it is to see things clearly from an outsiders perspective, and ridiculous how, when you are the one involved in a specific situation, your judgement becomes clouded, your path narrowed, and when it comes to finding your bearings, your personal GPS, all but fails you and you find it of the utmost difficulty (if not an impossibility) to both see and lead your way out.
Often, when friends ask advice, they start off by saying “If you were me what would you have done if……” (insert their situation here). I’ve not thought of this in-depth before, but for some reason, today, I realize that, if it were possible to become the other person, you would probably have done the exact same (crazy) thing that they did. This is because, it really isn’t at all possible to provide an unbiased, critical, evaluation of ourselves. We just do what feels right at the moment, and sometimes regret that very same action, later.
Recently, I received a call from a friend of mine who was desperately upset about some things that have recently occurred in their personal life. The situation felt somewhat like one of those “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with” scenarios, but somehow, twisted and reversed. Confusing right? I know! Let’s just say, that being caught between two (or more) opportunities of affection may start off as very empowering, exciting, and fun, but can also end with one being deflated, saddened, and confused.
Now, me, being the person that I am, had many thoughts about what this friend of mine had so recently endured, and I freely offered my time, advice, and sympathy, without hesitation. It was so easy for me to provide a soft but sound critique of my friends issues, I thought that maybe I really needed to go back to school and earn a degree in therapy. It was as though I had all of the answers, the ability to suggest or dismiss this thing or that, provide a possible resolution to one’s issues or concerns, and be someone else’s voice of reason, and it felt really good. It wasn’t until a couple of hours after the conclusion of our conversation that I realized that I had some type of nerve, offering up what I thought was truly, good advice when the situation that I was in needed a whole lot of advising of its own.
Have you ever realized how we, often times over extend and exert ourselves with the on-goings of other people? It seems that one can often times talk and advise, for what we view, as being for the benefit of another, as we simultaneously lose control of the situations that impact our own lives? How can it be, that we can be so completely engulfed and opinionated with affairs that don’t truly involve us, but whither up when it comes to providing sound answers for the things that do?
As of late, I have pondered this question, and I have come to the conclusion that instead of constantly providing my opinion with the dealings of others, I will instead become a sort of complex, sounding board. I will listen intently, to the concerns of the one speaking to me, and silently take into account the specific details of what I know about that person. I will ask questions that will, in essence reflect an aspect of what my opinion is but will, at the same time, afford them the opportunity to work out their own conclusions. After all, I do realize that I don’t have all the answers (most of them yes, but all of them…. not just yet, LOL!). I have also decided that I can’t truly say, what I would do if I were someone else, because the fact of the matter is that I am not someone other than myself, and that I can never, ever be.
Currently, as I hinted above, I have situations of my own, in which I honestly wish a step-by-step directory of what to do, and how to do it, could be provided. However, I realize that the vast majority of the issues I’ve been having, started with decisions and choices that I, myself, made. Therefore, the resolution to those circumstances reside completely within me. Sure, I, like anyone else, at times, would like to receive the input of others, but I also understand that when I seek out these opinions, that is strictly what it is… an opinion. Also, I understand that through other’s experiences, I can somewhat find a guideline of what to do with my own affairs, but not necessarily completely act in the ways in which other’s have.
What is truly important though, is that we start to take an in-depth look into the lives that each one of us individually live. Is your life perfect? Are there situations that have completely ‘thrown you through a loop’ and left you dazed? Have you got everything all figured out? If your answers to these questions are No…, Yes…, No…, then it seems that one should provide as detailed a critique into of ones own life, as we would do to that of a friend who has asked…. What do you think about this, OR, What would you do about that???
In my opinion (not that you asked), we can only ascertain the right decisions to make, by living the lives in which we, ourselves, have. There is honestly no right, and no wrong. The only answer resides in not what you would do, but rather within these two questions~ What are you doing now? -AND- What will you do next?
Thank you for reading,
Ms. T.M.Garrison/ A.K.A Trenni
It been a while since I have written, and/or posted anything, as I, like everyone else (at one point in time or another), have experienced a few upsets, disappointments, and unexpected situations.
As I have been going through, what seems to be a learning opportunity in the making, I have thought of myself as being unlucky, unloved, unacknowledged, unimportant, dismissed, disregarded, at a disadvantage, and feeling of a whole acreage of disdain.
Now, Although I found myself feeling the ways that I expressed above and did not often participate in much outside of my immediate community of support, I kept up on current events, social events, and things of that nature that gave me insight into other peoples lives. I had a Facebook, participated in several forums, discussed different thoughts and ideas with whomever I could, and compiled a collage of information in various manners.
Now, I don’t know truly if what I have observed is in fact, a reality, as it could be because of my phase in life that I began noticing things more acutely, but it seems that I had noticed a recurring theme, and that is the idea that people seem to genuinely be unhappy and therefore exhibit to others a general feeling of unhappiness.
It is funny, how sometimes, out of tragic circumstances, great revelations can actually be revealed, but as I started to pull back the layers of what was hidden deep within my own dark, musty, sad, and unresolved situation, I began to discover something amazing…. I began to discover ME!
I guess there’s something about washing your eyes with the tears of your pain, that allows YOU to eventually see clearly, what YOU want, what YOU need, and most importantly, who YOU are.
We all know, that there are far more than enough things in this current life that we can let go of, because they do nothing more than weigh us down. We seem however, to not be able to grasp that there are just as many things in our lives that we need to hold on to, because they have the ability to keep us afloat. The biggest, strongest, most viable thing we have in are arsenal being, ones self.
If appearance (and experience) count for anything, it looks as though we are, in fact, comfortable at times, relishing heavily, in our own misery. It’s as though, getting to a point where one can actually feel the pressure being lifted from within our own depths, requires far too much effort. I know how this is. Trust me, when I say, that I have truly been there and beyond, but I’ve become tired now, and I’m starting to think that “I” just might be worth the effort.
A reality that shocks me, is the discovery that although, by nature, we are conditioned to be selfish, indulged, individuals, we spend far more time than one would care to calculate, seeking the approval, recognition, and acknowledgement of others. We seem to allow the natural instinct of self-preservation to fall by the wayside as we become desperate to make a connection with someone or something else. (Now, please, don’t misunderstand what I am trying to convey, as it is also very natural to be attracted to and have the desire to be bonded with another). However, what should not be looked at as a natural occurrence, is to allotment of one to lose ones self. In your life, the most important person is you!
Now honestly, when was the last time that you looked at yourself in the mirror and saw the amazing individual that resides within? Have you had a true heart to heart with yourself and taken into account the things that have concerned you? Have you looked beyond the surface and really took the time to discover what you like and how you like it? What about the last time you seriously thought about your own personalized goals and how you plan to go about achieving them? How long has it been since you wrote down a list of the things you like about you, and then a separate list, including the things that you don’t like, and went about reconsidering, formulating, and recreating you???
Sometimes, it becomes so difficult to even open your eyes, roll out from the comfort of your bed, and face the world. It even, at times ,feels as though you would be better off just sleeping the days away and waiting for the time to come when all of your miseries will end. But, at the times, when you feel this way arise, ask yourself this… “If everything that I am currently going through just stopped right here and now, would it change how I feel? Will I be any happier? ” Now, if you think about this question in-depth and answer it honestly, you just may find that the answer is no! You might also find, that it’s not actually your situation that needs changing, but instead, what needs changing is actually you. This is the time when Re-Creating oneself becomes essential. As no one on the planet can see things through your eyes, and no one can put forth the initial effort to reconstruct your life.
One day, the time will come when the life that you live will cease to exist and there will be nothing more left of you except for the legacy you’ve left behind.
Today however, you are here! So I ask,… What are you going to do??? You have the choice to just sit there and let life continue to leave its marks upon your body and your soul. Or, you can push forward and devise a plan that will, in essence create the impact in which you desire… You are the artist of your own life and if you are not happy with where and whom you currently are, you must realize that it is only YOU that holds the power to change, the power Re-Create YOU!
Thank you for reading,
Ms. T.M. Garrison (A.K.A~ Trenni)