Category Archives: humor

Who’s an ASS, U or ME???

Isn’t it funny how we as individuals,can come up with prejudices about whole groups of people or things in which we ‘unknowingly’ don’t understand?

As it was just yesterday, that I was sitting here, on the PC as I am doing now, laughing my ass off with tears rolling down my eyes at the post that was being written about my very good friend (we’ll call him “Aluta”), who I’ll mention, is from Ghana, West Africa, one of the main ports in which African slaves were kidnapped from and brought here to the America’s. The people that live there now could very likely be distant relatives to the African Americans that I am descended from, associate with, and live among.

You see, “Aluta” and I belong to a “Special Interest Group” and they actually thought that he might be a homosexual!!! Not saying anything against the LGBT Community but plainly and specifically speaking against the presupposition’s that people make.

Here’s the thing, “Aluta’s” “American English” and understanding of it is a bit different. In the area which he was raised, he was taught to speak “British English” (also commonly known as “The Queens English”).    As one should know, there are certain words, terminologies, analogies, and metaphors, that mean completely different things when spoken by a North American to a British Citizen, and vice-verse.

When I told him about the things that were being said about him (albeit, funny as hell simply because his words were misconstrued and misunderstood), he was appalled! As in Ghana, there is (for real) no such thing as being professedly,  “GAY” and living a long life to tell about it. As in truth, your family, might be one of the first to String you from a tree!

GHANA is obviously NOT AMERICA & is profoundly different with the acceptance of the things in which the United States ‘outwardly’ pride themselves on not condemning.

It is an embarrassment for an entire family to have even one member be perceived as being “gay”. It speaks volumes that resonate throughout the entire Ghanaian Community. Also, It is not thought of as being “funny”, “freaky” or being on the “DL (Down Low)”  to see two Men or Women stand in very close proximity to one another, nor is the draping of someone with their arm around the neck of someone else as a conversation is being had. People shower AND Breastfeed their babies, without feeling inhibited, and in some areas it is even acceptable to walk around without clothing to cover parts in which the American culture dare not publicly expose.

I know, that other misconceptions have been made about other people concerning things from sexuality, religion, political affiliation, race, gender,  and a wide array of other things, amongst people in which the majority of us share our recent culture and history, simply based on a misunderstanding.

It is the reason that I feel the need to write this post. Prejudice’s to me, are very real and prevalent but are more often than not~ petty, simple minded and just plain wrong. We, each and every one of us, are ALL INDIVIDUALS. and do things that are unlike anyone else. Does that make either you or I inferior to another? I think, No, I KNOW, that it does not!

Stupid prejudice’s cause a wide array of unnecessary dysfunction, whereas if we took just an extra moment or two to ask questions, and attempt to understand another’s frame of mind, then we possibly answer the Late Rodney Kings question: “Can’t We All Just Get Along?”, with an Affirmative. “YES”!

I implore you all to please open one eyes, mind, heart and ears before opening our mouths (or in some cases typing with our fingers out into cyberspace) words, that can NEVER be taken back.

As it is, “When we make attempts to ill- perceive that we often make an ASS out of U and ME. (ASSUME)

Have a beautiful day, and thanks for reading!ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

Trennell/ A.K.A Trenni

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“Taking it All in Stride (X’s 2)” ~ A msg so nice it deserves to be said twice

BEING A WOMAN… has to be one of God’s most challenging roles. From the moment Eve took the first bite from that apple, we have truly carried the weight of the world on our shoulders.

Men look at us and say that they are the ones, cursed by God, with hard labor. I say, though the words are true, how many men truly follow through with the action???

From the moment we recognized our nakedness, we were damned! Do you think that Eve looked at her body and said… “Wow! I am perfect”? I think not! At the time that she exchanged her first words to Satan and followed his advice, she began to fail to see the exquisiteness of God’s creation. After this, her body became less and less the classic example of perfection and has diminished to what we have today.

Now, we attempt to beautify, our bodies with makeup that ruin our skin, fake hair that pulls out our own, acrylic that weaken our nails, and eyelashes that when loosened will irritate the hell out of you. We color our eyes with contacts, and many times end up with an eye infection and we attempt to painfully contort our bodies to fit “THE IMAGE!” What image? (you may ask) And I’ll answer, “I honestly don’t know! I don’t think any of us really do!”

Contrary to what this sounds like, this is not a rant meant to influence women to change their ways or their attempts at perfection. It is however, something much more…. Please read on.

To talk about how hard it is to be a woman, to speak of raising kids, to comment on how it is to be a wife or to be single, to speak about the trials of working and maintaining a home, or to speak about how men don’t understand us would be redundant. Therefore, it is not my goal to waste your time or mine with repetitive words that we’ve all spoken amongst ourselves, and will undoubtedly hear again.

Instead, my goal is to remind you, how wonderfully amazing, the girl, the female, the woman, the double X chromosome, really is!

Do me a favor… Take a moment for yourself, go somewhere where there is a mirror, and you can be alone. (For the guys, when the female you are with is ready take a look at her and follow these same steps~ when/if she allows you to) Free yourself from all that binds you (yes, that means take off your clothes!) Look yourself directly in the eye, and slowly inhale, then exhale. Inadvertently, your eyes will drop down to the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest. Inside beats the heart of courage, and strength, and within those depths exists life itself, this is your essence! Because, of this heart you have been given absolute power. You have the ability to create life, sustain life, connect the past to the present, and connect the present to the future. With this heart you have the ability to power your mind.

Your mind gives you the ability to conspire and inspire, and with your mind your mouth and your hands have the ability to move. You can and will impart knowledge, speak of peace and love, initiate happiness, or cause great pain. You can be vivacious and full of sass, or you can be quiet and seductive.

Your hands have the ability to heal a sick child or friend, to impart meaning with words unspoken. You can cause your significant other to feel a great deal of pleasure OR by applying the right pressure to the right parts, you can incense them with your wrath (lol) causing a sensation of complete distress unlike any other. (not recommended) You, WOMAN hold the capability to make others feel great love for you or be the cause of your own dismissal. You can be admired or abhorred.

Now put your hand over or under your left chest (depending on how far your boobs sag) and feel the strength, the intensity, of all of your virtue, beating just underneath. THIS is your source, your essence.

Now, (for those who aren’t prudish) take a look at that triangle between your thighs, (now I know some of y’all out there thighs kind of cover up the place that I’m talking about, and some of you others have stomachs that overlap.., lol but you know what’s there) Realize this, there is no woman on this earth who was born absent of this part. What it can do, has been, can, and will be done again, by all of the women before you and all that come after. Contrary to what you may have heard, this place is NOT what defines you. This place is just a detail in your anatomy, it holds no real resource, it holds no real meaning, because without your heart, it just becomes a cold, barren, orifice. ( & Unless you have the misfortune of meeting a Necrophiliac, It becomes meaningless.)

Understand this, contrary to what you have been told. You with all your imperfections, your stretch marks, your rolls, your dents, your moles or beauty marks, your dimples, your coloration, your size, your height, all combined, make ONE PERFECT YOU! Realize your power, own it, be it. Remember girl, that you are one Hell of an individual. Although everyday may not be a sweet sample of faultlessness, remember nevertheless, that you are.

Your power is in your heart girl! Do with it what you must, but take it all in Stride.

Yours Truly,
Trennell/ a.k.a Trenni

Thank you for reading.

DAMN, SHIT, WTF, is NEXT…???

Ahhhh, this life that we live, this crazy, crazy, life that we live. We drudge through it, and we fight in pursuit of  it, going day by day, until suddenly, we have no more life left to live. and…While we’re going through the ‘not so mundane’ motions of ‘living the life’ we come across some particular challenges. Especially from those things that we, ourselves, created, called offspring.

These kids nowadays, will put you through the wringer, send you to the depths of hell, and then, in the end, to exhibit the type of parent you’ve been, send you close to something akin to the Euphoria of  Heaven.  But oh, the trials and angst thow at one must go through to get to that ‘euphoric’ point.

I have a teen, and a pre-teen. The other day, I came upon the news that my teen, through the kindness of the school administration, received 2 days of detention instead of a full days suspension. The reason, why such a thing occurred in the first place… ??? I’ll tell you, but I promise that the end of the story will have you surely Shaking Your Head!!! As it stands…. There is only 1 full week and 2 days left until the end of the school year, and my genius teenager decided that it would be a wonderful idea to cut class, to play basketball in the gym… the class he cut??? STUDY HALL!!!

Now WTF??? Only a complete fool, mixed with a bit of Jack Ass would do such a thing. Yes, one of those, OR a 15-year-old hormone flushed teenager.

Now let’s talk about the pre-teen, the 11-year-old brat, (that yes, I helped make a brat) who uses the fact that she is the ‘baby’ of the house, to wrap us all around her finger and bend to almost her every whim. She is hormone(ic) too, I believe. As I was her age when my personality, my body, and my life completely changed.  Now, I like to tell everyone that I was a perfect child but, as I think back on it, I might have presented to my very own dear mother (bless her heart, as I pray that God blesses mine) one or two minor problems.  

The pre-teen female that I have, is currently having issues with her attitude, mouthiness, allegiance to friends, etc., and is about to get very well acquainted with the back side of my hand. She, at the beginning of the next school year will be entering Jr. High School, and I dread, knowing what is soon to come my way.

Lately, there have been some, changes in our household and the home life we’ve grown accustomed to. Our family dynamics are changing, and along with that our interpersonal relationships. My mind has been wrapped around thinking about so many issues, that perhaps my ability to be as perceptive a mother as in previous times is also having some effect on how things have been going.  If that isn’t enough of a story to tell, recently I’ve been going through a very specific and individualized issue and its possible that my emotional status, can be an eensy weensy bit questionable.  But seriously, am I deserving of the angst that seems to be constantly coming my way, via, the two ‘crazy, nut  jobs’ that I bought into this world?

My car, as I look at it, is in pretty bad shape. Now, don’t get me wrong, for the most part, when looking at my vehicle from the outside, one mostly sees a nice wine colored paint job, primed to a shine, that glistens in the sun. However, when looked at from the inside, one sees black leather interior, that burns your ass to the 2nd degree in the sun, particles of crap intermingled into the black carpet, dust fragments of mostly DNA, skin cells, and crap, on the doors handles, the dash-board, the speakers, and everywhere else. Oh, and did I mention, the pieces of paper that bear the names of my teen and my pre-teen that have been stuck in the sun visors, seat and door pockets.

I guess, though, that ‘such is life’. Things often times look better, grander, smarter, more efficient, and economical from the outside, but when you take that closer look, you see that the resulting viewpoint can show evidence of details that may have superficially been missed. Whereas, a little team work and agreement amongst the passengers riding, cloth for cleanup, and some soap and water for beautification end up with an amazing result…

It took me a few days to post this blog, but when I wrote the majority of it I was in my hometown, under the care of my mother, as she fretted over some recent personal occurrences of mine. The time came though, when I needed to go back home to the place that my husband and I reside with my kids. The from the North to the South, was smooth and uneventful, until….. I got off the highway and on to the road of the very road that beholds the door that opens with the turn of my house key.  It was then, that I noticed my car smoking and the temperature gauge shooting up and fast approaching the point of  the read area “H”. The sweet smell of antifreeze started to mingle with the air, and I was compelled to get out. On the ground was a beautiful color of liquid green collecting in an immensely growing puddle. Of course, at this time, I’m thinking and shaking my head, what in the world am I going to do…. ? What a day, what a time, what a week, what a life!!!

Oh, did I forget to mention, my dear friends, that this day just happened to fall on one that is recognized as a national holiday??? Now I just want to scream, and scream, and scream, to the top of my lungs… DAMN! SHIT! WTF….. is next???

Thank you so much for reading,

Trennell M. Garrison\a.k.a Trenni

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